I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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