He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
