Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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