My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
