you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
