Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
