i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
