We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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