pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize