It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize