I understand why you refuse to be sober now
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
