ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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