I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
babies were throwing up all over the place
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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