Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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