I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
