butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
