ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
