The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
