is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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