toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
