somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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