he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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