He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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