This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
