is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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