my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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