dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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