My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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