the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
