I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
