after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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