vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
