You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
