yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
