You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
