We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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