The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
