i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
