This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
