She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
