she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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