Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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