I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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