I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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