Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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