Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
