my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize