What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
