There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
