Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
