is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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