i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
