I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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