No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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