You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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