can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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