I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
