Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
