i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
