how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
