I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
