sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
