you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
