You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
