Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
